mayday_calls

i was slowly becoming  a plant for the fallow  manchild like you, so the words i said in  the heat to unwind you now look calculated, so the claps i adored you turned performative, all my fingers climbed  upto my cheeks, not in  the fear of one day  losing you, but for the face i carried while  serving you, 'cause  i thought you would  never ever paint me blue, your disguised cruelty, or maybe my dead mentality  loving you so hard, i was  just switching personalities, once an iceberg, never  chose to be the river again, i fuelled your empty brain  with my fucking generosity, i am done now to get  everything undone now, the girl of your dreams is still discolouring herself  to one day meet the sun, the boy of her dreams she  once prayed you were is  still tarnishing her heart, i was slowly becoming an oasis in the deserted  manchild like you, so the benefits you had by forcing me to become  a m...

jinx in the dark woods, juliet dead in childhood, juvenescence was just running out of thirst, just or unjust? but i  stumbled on soft crust, jokers and drugs, i knew  they were assassinators, january brought needles and tragedies in subway, jack of all trades is my name when they threw me in pain, jealousy before the downplay crushed all my living kens, justice was hanging but  breathing hard in gallows,  jaded is the love of my life, i blame myself somehow, journey once had juliet, her jinx, just trapped in woods, engulfing drugs and jokes, to kill her trust and thoughts, juliet was born in the woods, juliet died in the childhood. - chetna 🌻 

dump yard or  my face, whose  shadow did fit in  your eyeballs? not once or twice but a million times, to throw your  favourite, faltered  fucked up past, queries of your future where i could not  survive, just died, unnecessary doubts  to draw a veil over your  disproportionate rage, those hoaxes and  honeymoons, the  unfulfilled yellow  promises, how  pretty we had forged   those clothes, cold  air, cascades, clogs  and cheesecakes, they scream to throttle  in my verses, barring how hard you steered  and treated me like  a beautiful basin,  did you want to run against the clock, or taste my love in every feasible taste bud? i was never so clever, just an unexposed  child, learning you  and unlearning my  previous lives, but that trash and  nonsense, chaos  and your boredom,  have rusted my spine, dump yard or  my face, whose shadow did fit  in you...

dropping some hands, some or those, once  on my waist, while  dancing on 'paper rings', counting the shelf life  of redness of my cheeks, could never look into  the eyes, falling in  love every other second turns my last cell shy, in a blink of blossom, monsoon showers on  my skins, goodbye to  fallen foliage, stiff battles  in months of hazes, some hands still on  my waist, counting  the lapse of my breaths, measuring floor of  our home, one step  further, three steps back, but dropped those hands, they're no longer 'some' yes no longer mine. - chetna 🌻 

infamous but  infallible ink  said, "i love you" at least a thousand times  better than how this  town fabricated light all around you,           " your ignited ions,            negligible patience,            lost joy of teenage,            some falsified cliche,            your so-called friends,            such cowardly saints,            at the end of the day,            you wanted someone             to stay anyway,            i was always running             to home, away from home,            my clock was stuck at            3:33, signalling there's a      ...

sunflower was our gradient, not this regressive redness, heartbreaks people  cry for today, we have  lived in ourselves, tears, culprits, losses, darkness, look so unworthy, we have  forgiven them,  battles so peculiar, vintage and fun, shifting blames to  each other, what is  left now to be done? a house with roaring bricks, cracked floors, survived three fucking  thunderstorms, are  we too real for this? it's major but small,  or decent but dark, remember, people and  friends, laughing aloud, look at you, look at her, how shallow we must  have looked like before we outgrew just simple and sober us, now shattered apart, facing twin ego hazard,  filming our own parts, if we are too ready to forgo the love we once lent to each other's heart.  - chetna 🌻 

memory, magic, myself, cocaine, so classic, and  you with vanilla essence, home tour, one room,  two fools, every noon, gospel music, your fingers like strings on my thighs, opium lethargy, was a point so clean in the bedsheet, every sip of the coffee now feels like your beast , marijuana, sensational deep, you have some vigour, fantasy, an immature girl, and chocolate muse,  i cater you my grace, orgasm speciality, slap you, smooch your scars and sleep over you,  ecstasy standing fragile, between my legs and  you bring it to my head, caffeine so high, professional intake, i hardly miss you, but the sex was insane. narcotics have failed, clutch me once again, i hardly miss you , but the sex was insane. the sex... - chetna 🌻 

six years ago,  i was a fucking infected  insane , just in the loop, three years ago, i never thought you had wiped him from my poisoned  paradise, just by love, in this moment, i am writing one hundred  seventy seventh poem on your torch and torture just in suffering, wait, i need some air, fuck my pulses, you need some pills, wake up from your sleep, later in the moment  you stop thinking about me, i would be gifting this love to the bird with broken wings, just in outrage, three years from now , i would be screwing up this silk and steams, just in shame, six years from now , i would be cursing us for ruining this expensive shit, just in the sabotaged state, wait, i need some weed, fuck my tongue, you need some tsunamis, wake up from your sleep, back to the baseline, my heart was a liar, but you were a liar too, yes you were a liar too.  - chetna 🌻 

this summer, less of the Sun, more like a circuit, i'm in the memory of the saddest spring, flowers, godly showers,  pale scleras, red outlines, shifting iris in the gloom, "fuck this tragedy, god please say , you're lying!"  the world where  i could touch and  tour your transitions is thriving in my psalms, i can now sense your slow-steady silence  for the teen who grew into a child in your arms ? no one will ever  scrutinize the dices  i threw in the gamble, no one will ever  neutralize the darnels  you grew in the sanctum, sealed mouths look prettier than the  thoughtless tongues, healing hedgehogs  survive better than the hollowed heathens, choosing the delicacy  of the choice when you  chose me was the  first choice of your life , losing the fear of losing someone is the  last loss of my life. dear spring , summer  and saline suffering, will i survive succeeding  shedding season? - chetna 🌻 

I loved the picture, picture in my head, head, full of tomorrow, tomorrow, lacking breath, breath, whirling in our home, home built by our blood, blood we spilled on the floor, floor, still recalling footprints, footprints, of us and our child, child, who's in the lap of God, God, the twin of our death, death dreaming in clouds, cloud crucified by chance, chance gifted in the dark, dark kneeling on the face, face rolling on stones, stone or mask for the world, world incompetent for our son, our son or ending of this poem, poem, sending scripts to stars , stars , about to glisten our love, love, shadowed on the picture, picture dead in my head , i said picture in my head. - chetna 🌻