mayday_calls

i wish the flowers they put on  my funeral smell afresh like the way they smelled on my first morning  after meeting the love of my life,  i ended my life the day i chose him over my life or the day on which i failed to find any possible breath  thinking how i would live if he fades out, my life hardly knows any route to last long but the simplest way i choose is by getting shattered into pieces and flow in the air and follow him till the end, if he walks away,  i always wish lights of our home never turn so dim that we begin pretending that we can't see all our days fading to some unseen, unapologetic haze,    my loud screams never reflect back from the ceiling and shoot both of us in form of arrows, piercing straight our eternal empathetic energies forever,  the way termites would eat all the book  away, decomposing papers into pains,  i wish our souls undergo to get panacea but do not ever leave, leaving me stranded,  i wish nobo...

before you die, i hope you experience the  weakest untouched string of the strongest  woman falling for you,  before you die, i hope you find the strongest woman crying over your weakest decision of  ingesting all pains alone,  before you die, i hope the strongest woman  gives you her colors to paint the weakest corner of the world,  before you die, i hope  you desire the strongest woman take over you as the weakest part of you needs her undoubtedly,  before you die, i hope you get the muse of  the strongest woman in the room begging for saving the castle  you dreamed of building,  before you die, i hope  you get lyrical entitlement by the strongest woman  who's writing about the  weakest phase of her life,  before you die, i hope you learn to love the  strongest woman  she became for you  so you never feel  the weakest in this world.  -  chetna 🌻

"this too shall pass" we mumbled to each other  guessing we're offshore.  "as we had no cure" spaces between my fingers found no sliding of your hand.  "we might be the eye of storm" winds slapping our faces  all we could see was rising risk.  "honey please don't go" we left our love in the lurch but raised the mountain of molehills.  "can we hold on this? " hating the idea of standing on coast we were even scared to step into seas.  " we will rebuild it flawlessly "  i stepped out once, imprints on sand but not finding your feet beside mine.  "can we keep the promise? " your eyes turned right to see if my eyes turned left to see yours.  " we guess we can not " i was looking at my feet alone you were staring at my eyes alone.  " we are losing it " we turned off the flashbacks of  us standing on the safer side.  " waves don't whisper anymore " storms live in oceans and in our ...

those rains, my overflooded lanes  black shades, my brighter side fades,  red pigments on my face , i remember i coloured myself pale in that sick september.  they look so decent and proud my own couplets wasn't too loud,  staring at them bawling my eyes out "bribe me to secrecy , so i won't shout." people mad in love are bad in love my shiny eyes for his glance know that  people bad in hate turn so mad in hate my cuts on veins and brains know that.  "she might be the sweetest chapter" i know you mimic my every explanation,  after being played in crests and troughs now i laugh at your mindful manipulation.  i had seen people changing  better than a true tropical season,  i'll screw up fixed things as now i hate them so hard for a greater reason.  - chetna 🌻

all the fire, all the frozen snow all the thorns, i depict all alone,  all the might, all the surreal sight all the lords, i stake on as my right.  i penned down all your verses wishing this story never reverses,  i drank upon all your cold curses just to show how my love immerses.  the breadth of our edges of choices the length of your lonely longings,  the height of my unheard, dim noises they hardly saw our joining vertices.  gazing at the last block of shelf please fix your needs and nerves,  that dust-laden letter i wrote to you needs your touch 'cause it deserves.  let the world bless us infinite torture let the world box us into the corner,  please answer them like an archer  you'll burn with me even if it's harsher.  - chetna 🌻

you, i and your folks and foes  knew well how the winds rose,  the rare rains, two of us too close your lips did read shape of my nose,  interwoven i stepped on to your toes  twenty one minutes loaded lip-shows,  then who knew where're all the clothes as if our bare bodies talked to propose,  heavy downpours are the our only goals we twist all round just to count the moles,  the taste of your chest using my lip rolls  we found that route to get lost in zones,  my high notes, to match your heavy shots every position we shift had colored codes,  you see me laugh through your grey shades i see you blush through my clear cascades.  - chetna 🌻

why dear,  am i chosen to be left,  so hopelessly bereft?  am i ruined in tatters,  so messed up chapters?  why dear,  am i thrown out of clear  so darkened austere ?  am i picked up for gallows so noisome air swallowed?  why dear,  am i given piecemeal passion so perfect paralyzed patterns?  am i right to be called an escort  so fantasied fun that too ultrashort ?  why dear,  am i left in the leftover too  so reasonably refined rue ?  am i asked to stay impurified so diplomatically well defined?  why dear,  am i given venomous wines so loud lullabies heard in lines?  am i deemed to be put on pyre  so ash-laden burning attire ?  - chetna 🌻

then in the middle of night they played mocking and drawing shape of hearts with polished blades and crafted colours by pointed needles over my stiff and still face as if they knew how to draw.  then affirming this artistic abuse  they kicked me calling so unlawful  they framed vague, vengeant rules just to listen my grieving growls  "can you not just hit the brakes?  can you not just spell your aches?" just to engrave their exploiting echoes as if they knew how to roll fake dices.  nobody knows out of this room how unkind, unwanted i turned  how verminous voice i invoked each of one knows out of this room how dreadful demands they put on me how awful appraisals they shred on me as if they knew taste of pinch of shame.  - chetna 🌻

trust either the red chemical  gushing through my arteries,  or blue poison running in my disheartened heart,  or yellow falling pearls  straight from my eyes,  or grey clouds over my home who're about to clog your town,  or black imprint of my face through your displaced cornea,  or white stained bedsheets  where spilling liquids is a ritual,  or the golden rays of dawn hidden behind gloomy eclipse.  trust either me or any color of me,  you designed my canvas multicolored.  - chetna 🌻

i met you first,  your clown next,  your ghost next,  your fumes next.  you never looked like you,  your clown looked like your ghost,  your ghost looked like your fumes,  i inhaled your fumes but never you.  i saw your smile, pretty innocent,  i sterned at your clown in illusions,  i fought with your ghost in my mind,  but i could never purify your fumes.  i did read you only one time,  but i wrote numerous anthologies  over your fake clown,  over your idiot ghost,  over your flying fumes,  because they were meant to.  you never lied, even didn't speak the truth,  i gave you colours, but not to make the clown,  i gave you souls, don't turn them to the ghost,  i've waters, can i neutralize your firey fumes?  jokes of your clown haunt me,  horrors of your ghost haunt me,  impurities of your fumes haunt me,  your clown laughts at me,  your ghost frowns at me,...

on that high hill, i saw all so small down.  trees as small plants,  hawks as small bugs,  dreams as small illusions.  then i saw a person, a gun in his hand, pointing at me from down.  but i found him too so small.  i could have rolled down big boulder to crush him,  his unintended insolence.  but i was on the high hill,  i found all so small.  i gazed at higher clouds,  i was too small for them the way gun so small for me.  i stopped becoming small for people smaller than me.  "if they wished to kill me,  they got killed the same." before i could think this,  i recalled i was on high hill,  i could not think so small.  - chetna 🌻