grave

a bunch of bad words,

a stunt of sagged studs, 

a whistle of caged birds, 

a loss of little lifebloods,

all i notice laying in the grave,

i was an unkind kid,

a traumatized teen,

artistically abusive adult,

nasty, peculiar old woman,

i pushed away my friends,

showed my man his ends,

look how my grave pretends,

this fist-sized red organ

lost blood, became orphan,

i mastered the art of 

looking like an ugly gorgon,

still i died seeking the left 

love of the last portion, 

they couldn't see lines 

getting blurred, and 

my nerves getting hurt,

floods cracking the

holy statues of church,

i've kept a death letter with me,

you'll find it when you unearth,

a sleep of setting sun,

a smile if they smile in return,

a skill of buying better gun,

a scum i throw on them as fun,

all i rehearse laying in the grave.

- chetna 🌻