sleep ?

maybe, i was cursed

too heavily in midnights

when someone sobbed 

over my shoulders but 

i turned in thinking 

he can mend it all alone, 

or i took malediction i got

too lightly while rippling off, 

throwing stones of spleen, 

one by one in other's lake. 

step by step, i tried to fix him, 

count by count, i killed him, 

drop by drop, i collected acid rains, 

sip by sip, i served him with wines. 

very late in the nights, 

infections rise, my reddish eyes, 

traitors shine, i pass out, 

salts dry on my face, 

meanders form on cheeks, 

which no one sees or feels. 

i did clean all my shelves, 

diffused the particulate air, 

embroidered your silhouette

over my filthy bed sheet, 

placed my hand beside, 

felt the vacancy i always desired

but god knows why i began to cry.

i could choose death

in any way i find feasible

but i like suffering in secret, 

crying in the catastrophic corners, 

eating his ephemeral enthusiasm, 

figuring my fucking fragilities and 

sneaking in sleep with swollen eyelids. 

- chetna 🌻