you're growing up

you find vaccum 

as the biggest loss, 

you mean my silence

as the meanest move, 

you see some growth

i see not the same guy, 

and then you use words 

to please and praise me, 

they don't cause much

change, they're rusted,

looking out for all

other options 

have i turned so 

unable this fast ? 

you see some growth

i see not the same guy, 

I remember picking up

ny brother's phone call

in between our talks and

you stormed the streetlane, 

i wish you could stand

beside me while i was 

choosing my readings

struggling on bare street, 

this acceleration harms me;

when your eyes shine in

my absence and they damp

when i show myself up,

you see some growth

i see not the same guy, 

my heavens are so unclean

that i knead clay to shelter 

my jealous zeal in the body

of empathetic pretender, 

the noise of my love sirens

only can be heard when 

i am abandoned alone,

you need validations

straight from my last breath 

but i feel unempowered even

to spit my last call anxiety, 

you see some growth

i see not the same guy. 

i think i am unable to

find again that same guy. 

- chetna 🌻